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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Fake Mailbag


Until I have more readers, I know I won't get emails to respond to...SO...I present...FAKE MAIL BAG!!!! These questions are fake, but the answer real.

Wally in Walla Walla writes: "A-TRAIN, I hear JaMarcus Russell has come to camp, slim and trim. Do you think he holds down the starting job for the Raiders this year? Also, do you think he can throw from one endzone all the way to the other endzone?"

My question to you would be, did he all of the sudden decide to start watching film? Has he committed to actually working hard at being a QB? Cause if not, then his new svelteness will no nothing to make him a better QB for the Raiders. As it stands now, Bruce Gradkowski looks like he is the favorite to win the starting job, and it will take some serious work from ya boy JaMarcus to be able to overtake him and become starter again. He needs to start acting like a professional and watch some damn film and learn about opposing defenses, or all his arm strength will do nothing to help him stay a QB in this league. In regards to your second question, I think he coulld. You would need, however, to have a receiver stand on about the 10 yard line, so that way when he gets overthrown by 10 yards, JaMarcus will have hit the end zone. Also, if JaMarcus can't get a job as a starter, he should become the new Vortex spokesman. The new commercial would be that he throws the ball so hard and so far that it spins around the earth backwards, thus going back in time like in Superman 1, hitting Dwight Clark in the endzone as he is making "The Catch".

-THE-A-TRAIN-

Herman Munster from Tombstone, AZ writes: "APT, the Suns dropped 152 on the T-Wolves the other night. How many points do you think the Bolt bloggers could drop on th T-Wolves?"

Well Herman, that's a little unfair, being it'd be 3-5 for 48 minutes. But I'll tell you this much, if you let Steve Nash run the point, you, me, the BOMB and THE-A-TRAIN will drop 3 digits as long as The BOMB has his jump shot working. Give the Wolves a break though. They are still young, and on any given night, the Suns are ripe to drop 130. It's not like they gave up 150 to the Spurs. If they pick up a 3 either in the draft or by trading the rights to Rubio, you never know, maybe they'll be a team some day.

-APT

Ray Smith, resident of the Maryland writes: "NHL is looking at passing some new legislation against blindside hits to the head? Do you think it's necessary, or should these types of things already be taken care of in the rules if they were enforced?"

Personally, I am happy that the NHL is coming out and making new rules against these kind of hits. I like hitting, and it plays an integral part of the game of hockey, but I think that hits to the head, especially from the blindside, are unnecessary. The point of hitting is to get possession of the puck, and trying to knock somebody out is overkill. I just feel like there are too many players headhunting (I'm talking to you Matt Cooke), and good players are being forced to miss large amounts of time due to the douchbaggery of others. These new rules changes will make it so teams best players, like David Booth of the Panthers and Marc Savard of the Bruins, miss months because somebody gave them severe concussions from a hit to the head.

-THE-A-TRAIN-

Richard, from where the sun don't shine writes: "APT, you said your an NIT watcher. How bad did it hurt watching those repetitive hits to the groin on Tuesday night?"

***still wincing in pain***

(groin shots should be penalized in all sports by the code of Hammurabi)

Jenny from the Block writes, "APT, the Jets let ya boy ToJo walk and brought in LDT. What are your thoughts?"

I'll tell you this much: The Jets made a great signing this week that is going to do wonders for their running game. It just happens to not be Ladanian Tomlinson. But the Jets re-signed Tony Richardson this week. He led the way for Jones and Greene last season behind that dominating Offensive Line. With that line and Richardson in front, combined with what I imagine will be a growing vertical threat directed by Mack Sanchez, LDT could run for a G on the ground if the Jets were willing to give him the ball. Will he? Doubt it. Depends on where Leon Washington plays his football this season, if he's healthy and if Shonn Greene can hold onto the football. If Greene holds the ball, he'll supply 1600 yards by himself, and their won't be the carries for LDT to make a huge impact yard-wise. Expect LDT to be entrusted with his fair share of short-yardage and goal-line carries, or when they just need some trustworthy hands at the end of the game. I would say that he would get 3rd down opportunities, but that's only if Leon Washington isn't there. Leon's explosiveness out of the backfield will trump LDT's hands.

-APT

Butch from the Dawg Pound writes, "Hey A-TRAIN, Derek Anderson is finally outta here. Do you think he gives Matt Leinart a run for his money in AZ?"

By run for his money, do you mean take the job from him within the first week of training camp? Matt Leinart, in mop up duty, has shown that he is, at best, a meh QB in the NFL. He has had over three years to learn this offense, and has still been unable to get this offense down. The offense that the Cards run, and the players that the Cards have seem to be tailor made for Anderson. Anderson, in his Pro Bowl season, made his living throwing the deep ball to Braylonius Edwards and hitting K2 down the seem. In Arizona, he will have Steve Breaston being super fast, and Larry who can catch anything. Unlike in Cleveland, he will just have to get the ball anywhere Larry and the ball will get caught. Along with that, he just has to throw the ball past Steve Breaston, and Steve will catch up with it and bring it in. I fully expect Anderson to re-emerge as a starter for the Cards, and for the Cards offense to keep putting up hella points. Good luck to the Dawg Pound with your new addition Jake "I throw more picks than Derek Anderson" Delhomme.

-THE-A-TRAIN-

Rosie from one of the chop shops by Citi Field writes, "So I know y'all are mets fans. What do you think about think about all this Thyroid nonsense. Did you even know Jose Reyes had a thyroid?"

What up Rosie? I had a sneaking suspicion that Jose Reyes might have a thyroid, but never has it been more important than now. I used to make jokes with my family about Bernard Gilkey or Bobby Bonilla breaking a nail and missing games, or jokes with my boys about the crack in the parking lot that pitchers would trip over and end up with hamstring or calf issues (Pedro and El Duque in the 06 playoffs), but now I can't even make jokes like that, because it's all too possible that they'll be some truth to it. I don't know what the Mets did to the world to deserver this reign of injuries, but I don't even know how to react to it anymore. We tried to start fresh this year, but Beltran and Reyes are already missing opening day, and what's worse is Reyes problem is unpredictable. I've had way too much unpredictable. I feel like Reyes spent 5 months of last season listed as day-to-day. But there's no other option for this besides waiting. The good thing is, when he's back, he's back. This shouldn't be a recurring thing. There is no aggravating of the injury to worry about. We should have a 100% healthy Jose Reyes, hopefully by the end of April.

-APT


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