Winter Olympic Sprites

The Winter Olympics are well on their way, and I've yet to say shit about them. I don't want to slight the Olympics. I've been watching, just haven't gotten a post up yet. So here you go...a parade of Olympic Sprites the likes of which has never been seen...


I. I will obviously start by bidding a sorrowful farewell to Nodar Kumaritashvili.

The Georgian Luger passed away in a tragic accident during a practice run on Thursday. The Bolt's best go out to his family and friends.

II. The Opening ceremonies faced a tough challenge. Vancouver needed to follow the Beijing Olympics of 2008, whose opening ceremonies were certainly a sight to behold. Vancouver really didn't do much in the face of the steep challenge. There were some interesting exhibitions, but most movements went on too long and were over done more than what they were worth. Nelly Furtado could barely move in the ensemble she was sporting. The long number of the boy running and jumping dragged on forever. The torch is a beautiful piece of art but unfortunately faced technical difficulties which dampened the excitement. Some other highlights, were the light production of the whales rising up within the water-scape produced on the stage, and the emergence of a frosty precipice, though it ended up the stage for another lackluster performance. K.D. Lang's performance was nice also.

III. Congratulations to Alexandre Bilodeau for winning Canada's first ever Gold Medal on Canadian soil. He produced a brilliant run that just edged out Australia's Dale Begg-Smith and deserves all the acclaim he will receive. (APT did think it was VERY close after seeing Bilodeau's run.)

IV. The event of the Olympics thus far was the 1500m Short Track.

It was a great race, lead changes the whole first 1250m or so. Then the 3 Korean participants pulled into the front position, a scenario that Dan Jansen had warned us all about coming into the race. It looked like the rest of the racers would be shut out and Korea would cover the podium after a brilliant race, but on the final turn the 2nd and 3rd placed Koreans Si-Bak Sung and Ho-Suk Lee got tangled up and went tumbling off into the corner. This allowed the American favorite, Apollo Anton Ohno and J.R. Celski to slide into the final two podium slots. Jung-Su Lee won the Gold maintaining some glory for the Korean squad. If you have not seen this race, try to find it on NBC.com.

V. Was watching the 15K Cross-Country event, which is admittedly not my favorite Olympic sport, but I was incredibly shocked to see the announcer absolutely trashing a Norwegian Skier. Apparently Petter Northug is not the most well-liked of Olympians. The announcer compared him to Chad Ochocinco, though I think he was looking more for Terrell Owens. The Norwegian favorite ended up finishing 41st and arrived at the finish line to a disparaging monologue from the NBC announcer.

VI. As much as APT is not partial to Cross Country Skiing, how badass is the Biathalon. You ski around for a while and stop to whip out your rifle. Sounds awesome to me. It led to many great ideas among my friends and I about shooting while skiing, shooting live animals (sorry PETA), pulling a loaded pistol out of your snowpants for some close range shots. Kudos to the Biathalon participants for being awesome.

VII. Women's Hockey is simply not entertaining. I love Hockey and have for a long time. I'm watching Canada/Norway now that I DVRed because I want to catch as much Olympic Hockey as I can, as it is an incredible display. However, the women's event is a joke. It is watered down in speed, skill and power, neutered of physical play and left to die. To make matters worse, the level of competition among the Olympic participants is absent. Canada and America will be blowing out teams by double digits in goals during the tournament (Canada beat Slovakia 18-0 and Switzerland 10-1; America beat China 12-1 and Russia 13-0), until they inevitably meet in the finals.

VIII. In much more positive news, Men's Hockey and Curling start today.

As I mentioned, Olympic Men's Hockey is an incredible event. The passion, the skill and the competition are at an all-time high, and it is brilliant to watch these young athletes compete for their countries. Russia and Canada will be favored to meet for the gold behind the young guns Sidney Crosby (Canada) and Alexander Ovechkin (Russia). However you always have to keep an eye on consistent contenders Sweden (2 golds in the last 4(1994 and 2006)), Czech Republic (1998 gold and 2006 bronze), Finland (3 medals in last 4), USA (2002 silver) and Slovakia. It should be a great competition yet again. Curling is an incredibly entertaining game to watch, as it only comes out in America every 4 years. The intricacies of the game are intriguing and I look forward to taking in a few matches.

IX. Snocross. Seth Wescott overcame a difficult first time trial to win Gold for America. Mike Robertson and Tony Ramoin took the other medals in front of Nate Holland, in the 4 man final. There seemed to be a lot of worry after Wescott (defending gold medalist) struggled in his first trial. He stumbled a bit in his second, but easily advanced, as only 4 boarders are left behind after the trials. He rose to the occasion in the races, however, and found the podium once again.

X. Bode Miller won Bronze in a Men's Downhill event that saw the gold and bronze medals separated by only 9 hundredths of a second!! If only these racers all went at once, they could have overtaken the Short-Trackers for event of the Olympics. Good to see Bode on the podium. He's taken a lot of shit, most of which, is probably overkill. As much as I don't think I'd want to hang with him, Congratulations on the medal.

XI. Congrats to Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao of China.

The long time skating and now married couple decided to give the Olympics one more go and it came up Golden. They put on an entrancing long program to win the gold, APT's favorite moment being a horizontal throw and spin where Shen spun parallel to the ice before being miraculously caught by Zhao. It was a well-earned victory by the couple who quickly became a favorite among the crowd.

XII. Dick Button. There are different opinions of Dick Button. I've heard some commentary begging for more of Dick Button and his emotion-on-my-sleeve analysis. Bob Costas has seemed unsure how to handle the emotional Button at times in conversation, as Bob takes on his usual sympathetic but reserved demeanor. Al Michaels handles him a little better, as they have been at it for a long time now. I personally get enough of Dick Button. I think he would be better served as a figure skating commentator than being stuck in the Olympic main set where his emotions are more out of place.

XIII. Dan Patrick's Vest. For those who have not seen, Dan Patrick has been sporting a glorious snow vest in Vancouver. It is a bold shining blue reminiscent of the new Pepsi can, and I can feel the pain in my eyes watching the light reflect off it THROUGH THE TELEVISION. GREAT VEST!

XIV. I got a great bottom line news break about the throbbing shin of Lindsey Vonn, which I just found funny.

Anyway, she seems to be the big story of this Olympics. Bad news out of her camp today, saying the shin regressed after practice runs yesterday, even though she posted the fastest time in the Women's Alpine Downhill (where she is favored to win Gold). I hope that her throbbing shin feels better tomorrow (feel free to insert your own joke about Lindsey Vonn, throbbing, and making things feel better, but I will be the bigger man here).

XV. It didn't take long for APT to get over America'd in this Olympics. I love America and I cheer hard for our athletes in almost every Olympic sport, but the over display of American performances gets on my nerves. Alternatively, I have to watch endless analysis when I could be watching other countries compete. But if I'm paying attention, I will never miss anything American. Again, go America, but the competition is what glues me to the TV, so I'd like to see as much of it as possible.



XVI. An interesting thing came up during opening ceremonies among the crowd I was viewing with. The two countries of Korea were fairly randomly distributed among the nations at first glance. We gathered later that North Korea was filed under Democratic People's Republic of Korea and South Korea is now known simply as Korea. When did that come about? I have no problem if North Korea wants an epically long name (when a country has to tell you they are a democratic republic, maybe it's because they aren't), but how did South Korea steal the title of Korea? Just a curious question to think about (Eve6 reference).

XVII. Lastly, I quickly realized one thing in this North American Olympics. I much prefer when far away countries host the games. I'm happy for Canada, and they are doing a nice job, but I do greatly enjoy when the events are on at random times. I like to wake up in the morning to Olympics and have them on late at night. It's great when they conveniently take up the space that normal television shies away from. Makes for a great three weeks of entertainment.

XVIII. Canada just scored their 8th goal with just under 2 minutes left in their opening game against Norway. Jarome Iginla closed a hat trick and the Canadian squad will take this game 8-0 over a Norwegian team that lacks any NHL talent. (They are trying to make APT look a fool in his trashing of the women's tourney, but I promise more competition forthcoming. it will be great.)

XIX. APT wishes Sasha Cohen were here.

It was rumored she was going to comeback for the games, but sadly it seems that it is not so.